AMANG ALUI: THE GENIUS BIDAYUH: Wedding the kampung way. No thanks to RSVP

Wedding in my kampung is the villagers' business. It involves all level of the community. Nobody will 'exclude' themselves from it, starting from the simplest chores of hanging the decorative lightings to the most complicated, slaughtering the animals. This is another very merry activity in my kampung. It involves quite a simple protocol. The head of the family or the representative will announce in church a week or two before the event. That's all, no invitation card! All are welcome starting from the preparation till the dinner. Basically, it is a kampung event not just the bride or groom's family.

The work will start at 8.00 am (the unofficial standard time for any "gotong royong" in my village). The 'host' just appoint leaders according to the work. Roughly the villagers will be divided according to their expertise or volunteer basis. The groups will do works such as slaughtering and chopping up the animals (meat), preparing and cooking the vegetable, cooking the meat, putting up the tents (if the longhouse is not used) and finally the musical instrument (compulsory now a days). The men will usually take the slaughtering and chopping work. This is done at the river bank. This is the luckiest group. The internal organs will be bbqed and cooked on the spot by this group. They will eat as they work! Sometimes a few will 'sponsor' hard drinks. So, they really enjoy their work. The second group is the cook. This is of course taken by the women. They will start their work by preparing the vege; washing and cutting. They will also have to wait for the meat from the men. Usually the men will finish their job at around 10 or 11 am. Chicken and pork are ready to be cooked, they are chopped and sliced just nice for the menu. In my kampung fish, beef and mutton could be considered as unknown to the villagers unless they have special request to cater certain groups especially if they have Muslim family members. In this case outside cooks are needed and the work is not done by the villagers (we have the 1Malaysia concept way before PM announced it).

The women are not as lucky as the men. Infact they do more work than men (as usual). They have to prepare the cooking utensils, controll the fire and prepare the different dishes according to the host's request. Usually the supervisor is from the host family members and the menu is discussed earlier. They will work till afternoon, maybe around 2 pm. This group will also prepare lunch. Again, the villagers will have free lunch. It is not from the dinner's menu. Some internal organs and parts of the animals will be cooked for lunch. It is simple and light but when eaten in groups...anything is tasty, with joking and teasing going on.

Another group will get ready the decorative lightings and the musical instrument. This is usually done by the teenagers (both boys and girls) and usually the family members will do most of it. Putting up the tent is done a day earlier by close relatives and friends.

Cooking is mostly done by firewood. It is very economical. Gas is expensive now a days and it is not advisable to use it considering the volume of food prepared. Firewoods are collected weeks before the event. This is done by close relatives and friends.

My kampung is lucky because we have a complete set of cooking utensils, all belongs to the Women's Institute (they called it WI). I'm not sure whether WI is the same as 'Perkumpulan Wanita'. Everything, the 'kawah' (a big wok), pots, plates, cups and even spoons. The WI have a very good record that they can detect any missing utensils. Recently they were given collapsable tables, I think 10 (All were donated by Datuk Richard Riot. Thank you Datuk).

The night, the dinner is open to all, even to those from nearby villages. No invitation card is needed. The event usually starts at 8.00 (another standard time). Besides the parents and close relatives, the most important person is actually the kampung prayer leader. He decides the starting of the event, if he's on time, fine, but sometimes he's a bit late, so everyone has to wait. He is the one who will say the prayer and bless the couple (doesn't take the role from priest), the family members, the villagers and finally the food. It is a free sitting. Usually there is no table, only stools and a clean floor. So, you can sit anywhere you feel comfortable. I used to go for the floor. Food is usually served but once a while the guests will queue up for the food (buffet). Makan makan makan, next is the merry making session, the live band will play soft and sentimental songs during the eating time. At around 9, makan time is considered over (food is still plentyful), the tempo changes to fast; joget, dangdut, cha cha and rock n roll, the floor is all yours. This will last till the wee hour depending on how long the band boys and the guests can last (dancing and drinking).

The wedding ceremony actually belongs to the villagers. They are very much involved in the whole process in preparing it. Starting from working and enjoying it. This is the best event that is able to unite the villagers. No one is excluded. The host just have to prepare the 'things', the rest is up to the villagers. They have to prepare everything properly because they are the guests themselves, nobody else.

The following day is another working day, washing and cleaning up and also sharing the left over food(still in good condition). Again they will have free lunch!

I hope this tradition will go on (even better-forever). Some quarters from outside my kampung disagree with it saying that there is no 'standard' (prestige) to it, sitting on the floor, eating from rice wrapped in leaves but some praise it because it is very economical and no protocol at all. Everyone enjoys it. Whatever it is, different areas, different minds will have different ways of doing it. Some go for prestige and reputation (hotels are better) on the other hand, some go for simplicity and cost (my kampung is better!!!). Anyway, "Bidapud lagi"...